What with the commercial success and popular acclaim of Guitar Hero, it was only a matter of time before we'd see knock-offs. That time has come, and it comes wrapped in a license from Bratz, everyone's favorite sassy, Botox-lipped, fashionista dolls for young girls.

Yes, I give you Bratz Groovin' Guitar Game, featuring both knock-off gameplay and these image-obsessed, consumer-frenzied slut-dolls. As manufacturer MGA Entertainment promises, you can "become a rock guitar goddess and play along with the Bratz™! The totally-hot TV graphics tell you when to play!" Like many Bratz products (seriously, you may not want to click that link), the game serves as both a revenue generator and a link in a complex and massive chain of intellectual property.

However, retailers do seem to be taking it upon themselves to exoticize the game's capabilities. Consider the following, from the product description at Wal-Mart.com:

I particulary like how the marketing rhetoric reframes "you push buttons" into "the game detects your finger movements." Amazing, the guitar actually knows the location of my fingers (thanks to buttons, on which they might be depressed). I'm also thankful that Wal-Mart reminds me to pretend I'm on stage. I guess we've sapped all the brain matter out of our preadolescent girls through branded products, so perhaps the instructions are necessary.

Interestingly, the Target version of the guitar is considerably different. Based on the Bratz Rock Angels line, the guitar is red in color and the box comes emblazoned with the promise of a "Rock Angelz World Tour" instead of a lavendar "Groovin' Guitar." I always did think Target was sassier than Wal-Mart, didn't you?

Cynicism aside, this product does demonstrate the mass-market appeal of Guitar Hero... the game is still sometimes complex for the very young, and more importantly kids don't recognize most, if any of the songs. Now your young lass can rock out to Bratz favorites like "Looking Good" and "Who I Am" may provide a more "appropriate" preteen performance fantasy than axe-grinding to Black Sabbath.

When you're done with Groovin' Guitar, don't miss Bratz Dance Mat 2, a plug-and-play DDR-style pad. And you can enjoy even more marketing manipulation (har) with Bratz Twister. (And even more incidentally, is anyone else disturbed by the incredible detail on the Bratz Wikipedia entry? Don't miss the description of MGA's dispute with Mattel over the trademark for the name "Kianna." -- What world is this I'm living in?)

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